Msizi Mbhele – Stepping Stones participant DramAide – KwaZulu-Natal

My name is Msizi Mbhele. I was invited to attend Woza Asibonisane’s Stepping Stones sessions by one of my neighbours who is a Woza Asibonisane! facilitator. She told me about the programme, about Brothers For Life and Zazi. I attended because I wanted to learn more about how HIV is transmitted and about how to have safer sex. I ended up learning more than I expected. I learned about love, forgiveness, letting go, and how to become a responsible member of the community.

I used to have four girlfriends at the same time. You know, as a man, I thought it was acceptable and common for a guy to have more than one girlfriend. People have this belief that a man doesn’t get satisfied. That is how I used to think too.

In life I didn’t know where I stood because I couldn’t focus on one person. I always had to have back up and not rely on one person. My mind changed when I started attending the sessions. I wouldn’t talk about my issue because two of my girlfriends were also participants. I didn’t want to expose our issue to everyone. Also, I am a quiet and shy person. So it became a challenge for me to express myself.

People have this belief that a man doesn’t get satisfied. That is how I used to think too.

I was encouraged to open up because the Stepping Stones team were so open and friendly. I decided to go back to my girlfriends and break up with them. Things didn’t go the way I thought they would. They were really hurt.

Two of them had found out from their neighbours that I was dating both of them at the same time. That didn’t

go down very well. They came to my home and fought right in front of my parents. My elderly father was embarrassed by the chaos I had brought into his home. I was also ashamed that my parents had witnessed everything. I knew I was wrong.

Now I am proud to be a responsible and motivated person who sticks to one partner. I spend most of my time with my nephews at home listening to music. Woza Asibonisane! helped me to change my ways.